My Dory Days
No, I didn’t mean glory, I meant Dory, like as in the fish in Finding Nemo. She has short term memory problems. I can’t say that I’m that bad off, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit a lot scatter brained. I can’t tell you how much time I waste on a daily basis just trying to find my coffee!
So, before I forget, I wanted to share with you that I get these really great ideas for blog posts and by the time I sit down, I can’t remember a thing. Today, I was thinking about this problem I have and thought, hmm, I could buy one of those little notebooks and jot down my ideas. Then I’m laughing at myself about this because I know that in reality I would open up that notebook and more than 50% of the time I’d wonder what the hell all those notes were about. Kind of like Uncle Billy in It’s a Wonderful Life looking at all the strings tied to his fingers and having no clue as to why they were there.
I don’t think of this as a real problem like one I should get checked out for. I don’t think I’m losing my mind; I did that when I chose to give birth to five children. Now I spend my days wandering the house looking for coffee or whatever else I set down somewhere. I shouldn’t even mention the things I’ve “put up” for safe keeping so I wouldn’t lose them. When I do that, I should just be honest and kiss the darn things goodbye. On the plus side, there is one thing I do know the location of, and that is the file containing my children’s birth certificates and immunization records. I confess, though, that I have no idea where my marriage certificate is and haven’t for well over 15 years. Dang, I still have to remember to send off for a replacement for that!
On top of my own problems, then I have all these children and them wanting me, the woman they laugh at when their dad moves my coffee cup on purpose just so they can watch me wander around looking for it, to remember things. Like all their friends names, where they live, and the school functions, etc.
I try not to be so hard on myself about this little problem. I’ve really learned to laugh at myself about it. And frankly, if I leave Walmart and I don’t forget a kid (which I never have) I feel I’m doing pretty damn good!
* A special thanks to Patty Gale for posting “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney” on Facebook, which reminded me to write a post about forgetting. 
Not Your Average Cheer Mom
My daughter is in Pee Wee cheer. I know there are plenty of places in the South, where football is the end all and be all of life. We’re in Texas so, we are without a doubt one of those places. Last night was the first game of the season, which I can honestly say was not without preparation!
The girls have been practicing for well over a month. If you want to talk about dedication, these girls have been outside learning all the cheers in 100+ degree weather. I’m not as devoted though and have gotten in trouble for not bringing my daughter to every practice. There was one day that the temperature was 108 so, I silently protested as a no show. To me, there is a fine line between being committed and being crazy. Yes, that last part could be a pun, if you’d like to take it that way.
How did I get “in trouble” for that? Well, I didn’t really per se but at the next practice the girls got a lecture about how they need to be there and on and on. However, the talk wasn’t meant for them at all but for the few slacker parents, such as myself. It was the passive aggressive approach of let me make your child feel bad so, you will. The whole “you know who I’m talking about” thing. All this from a woman who is trying to relive her cheerleader glory days.
So, on to game night! The girls were told to be there an hour before the game. I didn’t think that was unreasonable by any means until… Ms. Cheer Coach went on and on about how she wanted them to look and how their hair should be perfect and if it wasn’t then she would be doing it for them. Imagine this being said in that I’m so special teenage girl kind of way, like really. She then proceeded to tell them about wearing makeup and then quickly added if your mom will let you. This presents a problem for me because my daughter just turned eleven. I think she is beautiful just the way she is, as is any girl that age. The way in which it was said created a dilemma because, I don’t want my baby girl to wear makeup but at the same time I realize it’s important for her to feel part of the squad. I ended up letting her wear some very light pink lip gloss and some glitter powder, both very subtle but enough that she was happy.
And now it’s game time! The girls march out and take their positions in front of the stands and oh my! More than half the girls were caked with blue eyeshadow, bright pink cheeks and what looked like old lady pink lipstick. It looked like clown college! (no offense to any clowns meant!) It was one of those moments where you want to hide your head in shame, that is not even your own. You know like when you see any awful singer on American Idol and you can’t look. Despite the fact that I was looking for the clown car to arrive any moment to pick up the girls, they did an excellent job cheering.
I admit, I’m not your average cheer mom. I was and still am a bit of a tomboy so I sometimes don’t get what all the fuss is about. I know I have a sarcastic side, but don’t get me wrong, I do have great respect for how hard these little girls work at what they do, it’s not easy! And while I’m not exactly thrilled with the coach we have this year and her methods, I do have to give her credit and big kudos for volunteering her time.
“If cheerleading got any easier, it would be called football.” ~Author Unknown
